3 Practices to boost Self-Belief & Embrace Your Magnificence
Hey there, lovely soul! I’ve written this to offer you three amazing somatic practices that are really simple to weave into your lifestyle as they don’t require more than 5 minutes of your time (although please do gift yourself more than this where possible, because you’re so worth your own time and attention!). These practices, are some of my personal faves, as those of you who attend my events will know! These suggestions, along with investing in myself for the deeper inner healing got me from self abandonment tendencies into self love and celebration! The richest gift of them all 🥰
As people with self abandonment tendencies, or low self belief and love (inner experience) can still appear confident and happy (external appearance), I’m sharing signs to look for as a starting point:
Critical inner-voice: What is the default tone of voice you have with yourself? If someone were to actually start playing your inner thoughts out loud to you, how would it feel to hear?When I was in this phase of my life the first few thoughts I’d have as I woke up were negative and self deprecating. I’d still be laying in bed and already worrying about how I looked or thinking about the ways I wasn’t good enough. Looking in the mirror led to over analysing my appearance and fixating on all the things I didn’t think were good enough about myself…which is sad to think back to! There was such beauty inside and out that I was blind to.
People who have low self belief are usually also stuck in a pattern of self-criticism. The focus is on flaws and shortcomings rather than being able to perceive value, worth and see with love. The inner voice reinforces a belief of not deserving love/success/happiness…which often then comes along with a challenge in receiving it, even when it’s there! So perhaps you are in a loving relationship, have achieved incredible things, are surrounded by wonderful friends, but you struggle to believe it’s the real deal and/or spend a lot of your energy worrying about when the other shoe is going to drop because it feels too good to be true.
Tones to watch for: unkind, worry, comparison
Thirst for external validation: Because there’s a lack of self validation it leads to outsourcing evidence of your worthiness. You refer to others opinions to make decisions and/or define your self worth. Ironically, as I’ve seen with both myself and clients, whilst you crave external validation you also often can’t fully believe it. As the compliment being given is in conflict with the beliefs you hold about yourself it can be difficult/uncomfortable to receive as genuine. Any sense of validation also tends to wear off very quickly…This tendency can create unhealthy relational dynamic and in more extreme cases create co-dependence.
Behaviour to watch for: rejecting compliments, following trends, over spending
Unhealthy boundaries: As there is a lack of self worth you feel more comfortable when people are around you it often leads to prioritising others. Your happiness takes a back seat…is it something you even consider? You likely struggle to set, or even understand, boundaries. Sacrificing your own wellbeing to meet the needs of others stems from a belief that your value in someones life is tied up to how much you can do for them. Helping others is how you feel worthy of their time/energy/attention. So as a result you have a people pleasing pattern and focus on everyone else but yourself.
Bear in mind, this can also play out in the opposite way. With a lack self belief the idea of someone leaving you and triggering those feelings of abandonment, rejection can lead to hyper independence. Perhaps you have friends and relationships but recognise you struggle to really let people in. Instead, in an attempt to protect yourself from rejection you keep people at arms length, and if feeling any sense of threat to the relationship will push that person away, to maintain a narrative of you didn’t reject me because I did it first…
Remember: none of these tendencies are not permanent states and can be addressed through self-reflection, compassion, and personal growth. With dedication and support, anyone can cultivate self-worth, belief, and learn how to prioritise their own well-being.
🦋 Now, the three transformative practices! 🦋
Non-Sexual Self-Touch: If we’ve had the pleasure of connecting already, you’ll DEFINITELY know this one! I may actually do a podcast on this because it was such a game changing moment for me in how I related to myself, and the impact it has overtime on your nervous system regulation. Initially connecting with your body through touch may feel triggering or a little uncomfortable in some areas, but overtime it is such a beautiful way to offer love to yourself. Anyway, I digress a little…
Our bodies are sacred vessels deserving of love and care. It is possible to relate to your body in a much deeper way than simply how it looks, and particularly for women, I believe this is a really powerful reclamation! Non-sexual self-touch is a beautiful practice that allows you to communicate self-sourced safety, presence, and love. It's about exploring touch as a means of self-soothing and compassion. Think about how primal touch is..how deeply a baby is calmed by touch, contact and closeness with caregivers, or how good a warm hug or handholding moment with a friend or partner feels. Yum! Of course as socials beings it’s great to receive this from others, but if you have low self belief and want to deepen the relationship you have with yourself…I highly recommend inviting this practice into your life. Like any other relationship, we build trust overtime and this is a great way to do that in the relationship you have with yourself.
Mirror Work: Reflecting Your Inner Beauty Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the most lovable of them all? The answer is: YOU! Mirror work is a profound practice that involves looking into your own eyes and affirming your worthiness, beauty, and uniqueness. Sounds simple, right? It is, but the impact can be profound. Stand in front of a mirror, take a deep breath, and gaze into your eyes. As you do so, repeat positive affirmations such as, "I am enough," "I am worthy of love and happiness," or "I embrace my true self." Initially, it might feel a bit uncomfortable, but with time, you'll start to appreciate the beauty that radiates from within you. Mirror work helps to cultivate self-acceptance, boosts confidence, and fosters a loving relationship with yourself.
Meditation: Meditation opens the door to self-discovery and invites us to love yourself through all phases of your life, aka unconditionally. It is such a powerful tool…one I resisted this for such a long time! Even when I’d got deep into my Yoga practice the idea of sitting still and ‘doing nothing’ didn’t appeal. I didn’t see the value..in part because I misunderstood the ‘goal’ of meditation. I thought you were trying to get rid of thoughts…and whenever I did try, I wasn’t able to do that. For anyone who also believes this to be the case, meditation is actually a space to get to know the nature of your mind.
As with the other suggestions, at first this can feel uncomfortable. You may not find it easy being still (I didn’t) given the general tempo of our lifestyles these days, and chronic multitasking. However, when it comes to better self belief first you get to take stock of what’s really going on inside. Sit with and notice the type of repetitive thoughts, or topics that are on your mind. Are they rehashing the past? Are you worrying about the future and creating fictional scenarios? We cannot change what we don’t know, so this level of awareness precedes choice.
By quieting the mind and turning inward, you create space to observe the nature of, the monkey mind, as it’s often referred to, and in doing so realise how transient thoughts are, that they come and go just like your breath. Like the breath you can choose to hold onto a thought or let it flow in and out. You realise you are more than the mind and create the space to connect with your inner essence. Overtime you can pick and choose which thoughts you give power and attention to, and which are not supportive and can be left to pass through like your breath.
Want some guidance on to start you off? Click here to receive a free video of each suggested practice by yours truly 😊
I trust you have found this useful, if you want to work through self doubt with support you can explore my services here, or contact me via email by clicking here. Self-love is a journey that requires our attention and dedication. By incorporating mirror work, non-sexual self-touch, and meditation into our lives, we can cultivate a deep and meaningful relationship with ourselves.
Remember, you are worthy of love, acceptance, and happiness. Embrace your uniqueness, celebrate your journey, and shower yourself with kindness. These practices are gentle reminders that self-love is necessary for our overall well-being.
To embracing your innate worth and shining letting your soul shine through.
With love,
Kate x